Embracing the Feminine Side

As a new mom, getting dressed was a matter of putting my hair in a pony-tail and throwing on some comfortable sweats. After a couple months of throwing myself together, I was convicted that I needed to be more thoughtful in my daily attire whether I was going out or not. Several years ago, I read a couple books that affected my thoughts on my daily routine of personal preparation. One book I read was by Leslie Ludy called Set-Apart Femininity, and the other book was Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge. Both focus on the thought of how much feminism has affected the way women-even Christian women think today. Thanks to the feminist movement, women now have the right to vote, run for office, and hold an occupation an man can hold at the same pay a man would have. However, feminism has affected manners, habits, and affection women once held for who they are as a lady. In an effort to compete with men, the woman has lost something that is precious and unique to her gender-femininity.



I was rebuked that a working woman  who dresses up to go to work every day-put more effort into her daily appearance than I, who had dedicated my life to the work and service of the home. I was faced with this fact when a couple weeks ago, I went to the bank to get pre-approved for a mortgage. A female vice president of the loan officers handled my case. She was dressed to the hilt in a classy suit, jewelry, make-up, and hair. I sat there in corduroy slacks and a sweater and felt very small. To me she was intimidatingly gorgeous and the seriousness she took in properly preparing herself for her work was a rebuke to me. Here I was, a stay-at-home Mom, believing that my job of being home with my children was the highest calling a woman could have, yet I slovenly prepared myself-seeking personal comfort in my attire, rather than effectiveness and appropriateness in the job the Lord had given me to do. 


Now, I don't think a home-maker needs to wear a suit and hosiery every day--obviously, that would not be appropriate for the necessary task a wife and mommy does, however, I have begun to understand that we homemakers have become so busy with daily tasks that we have succumbed to the masculine comforts of attire and etiquette rather than taking moments to enjoy femininity and grace. My personal goal is to take the time to embrace being a lady. 


I can embrace my femininity by how I dress. Wearing jewelry, make-up, curls, skirts, dressed, lace, and pretty shoes are all part of being feminine and should be things we as women enjoy and take the time to care about. As a habit, I try not to wear slacks every day, but enjoy a feminine skirt once in a while. If I choose to wear slacks, I try to pick a feminine top to accompany them. To me, dressing like a lady is counter-cultural and making a statement against the feminist movement of our day that encourages women to compete and be like men instead of embracing who they are and simply enjoying being a women.

I can also contradict the liberal feminist culture of our day by my speech and manners. Brushing up on etiquette books and knowing appropriate remarks vs. inappropriate ones can be a life-saver for many occasions. Being a lady means knowing how to use the words "Please" and "Thank-You." It also means knowing what is the appropriate attire for various occasions. What should a lady wear to clean house? shopping? visiting? church? funerals? weddings? 


In essence, being a lady means taking the time to savor life
-an afternoon in the park with the children-no other agenda but to enjoy the day
-a long visit with a friend or family member of hot tea-not wishing your company to leave so life can get back on its routine
-a long letter to an old friend
-playing or listening to music-for the sheer pleasure of it-not as a filler while some other task is being done
-taking the time to visit with my husband and children-not rushing off to bed or to the next thing


My heart's desire this year is that I will learn to cut out the unessential things in my life and savor who I am as a woman, a wife, and a mother.