Little Cynthia

With only three more months to go, my husband and I are awaiting the arrival of our little girl, Cynthia Joy. After having one perfectly healthy baby, I took it for granted that there would be no problems with our second child. I was stunned to hear that there was a spot on her heart and one kidney was enlarged. For ten weeks I have been seeing a specialist concerning Cynthia. Most recently, her weight has dropped below the acceptable percentile for her age. All of the health concerns we have for her could be separately occuring issues, or be signs of genetic problems. As long as she is in the comforts of my womb, there is little doctor's can do or know. For me as her mother, my grace is found only in resting and trusting completely in the Lord for her health and well being. There is nothing can or cannot eat, there is no exercise I can do, there are no vitamins or medicine I can take to help her form correctly. It is a time to wait, pray, and above all, rest in the Lord.


I have shed many tears for my little one. What is mostly frustrating is that I am completely unable to help. I am disapointed that despite my greatest hopes, her condition does not improve from week to week. Despite my inner struggles, the Lord has continued to give me His sustaining peace. I am thankful that He knows and has planned my child's life and health before I even knew about her life.

Psalm 139:13-16

For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.

I will give thanks to You,

for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in Your book were all written

The days that were ordained for me,

When as yet there was not one of them.