Encouraging Verbal Skills

As a disclaimer, I am not writing this article presuming to be an expert on teaching verbal communication to a child. These are some tips I have learned from other people and personal experience. When our first daughter was born over a year ago, my husband and I discussed whether or not to teach her sign language. We choose not to, because we have known some children who learned sign language and it slowed down their verbal communication because the need to speak was not as urgent to them. Also, we thought that although she may be able to communicate through sign language with Mom and Dad, almost anyone we got to watch her would't be aware of what she was saying. So, we decided to focus on encouraging verbal communication. After a year, our daughter communicates very well with knowing just a few words. 


One of the first phrases I taught Emma was "all done" I would emphasis that we were "all done" when she is through with eating, bathing, and diaper changes-she now uses that word whenever she is done with anything. It has been most helpful-instead of fussing-she will say "done" or "all done"


I read articles about how to encourage little ones to speak. And came up with a few helpful tips that we have implemented in our home.


1. Carry on conversations with her. I make it a point to keep Emma part of the communication at mealtimes and throughout the day. Rather than talking about her, I try to talk with her. I interpret her sounds and carry on conversations with her-even if they are majorly one sided. 


2. Respond. This is not the time to teach a child not to interrupt. Welcome interruptions. If Emma talks, I hear and answer. Even if it is "mommy can't help you right now" or "just a minute." I don't ignore her comments, but let her know that whatever she says is heard. Right now, her interruptions in adult conversation are very short, so I consider them more important than the current conversation I am carrying on with someone else. Eventually, she will learn not to interrupt.



3. Ditch the pacifier. I personally don't have a problem with a pacifier. In fact they have been proven to help reduce the risk of SIDS. We give Emma a pacifier for sleeping only. Throughout the day, she does not need it. It has been nice, because she is not strongly attached to it, and she is much more talkative without something in her mouth.


4. Transition from a bottle to a straw or adult cup. A lot of speech therapists agree that if a child does not learn how to use his tongue in other motions besides sucking, it slows down speech development. A child who can drink from a straw or cup, can learn how to use their tongue in different speech patterns much more quickly than a child who only drink with a bottle or sippy cup with a sucking motion. A cup or straw is a bit more messy, but it has been helpful for Emma to learn to use various types of motions for drinking.



5. Read. All educationalists agree that reading is key in building language skills. Emma has learned so much about the world of words from books. She can relate various words to images through reading. I like to spend a good hour or more every day reading books with her. Also, I make it a point to stop whatever I am doing if she brings me a book. It takes only a couple minutes to go though a child's book and taking advantage of that teachable moment is vital.


6. Repetition of the same words in various circumstances. I try to use the same words she knows to communicate with her. For instance, one of the first words she learned was "Dada" It didn't take long for me to be able to tell her "Dada's coming home!" She gets excited and heads for the door or window if I tell that to her now. She can also understand if I tell her "Take it to Dada" or "where is "Dada?" She now says "all done." I would use that phrase whenever she was done eating or done with a diaper change. Now I am using it to communicate picking up toys. As I am encouraging her to help put toys away, I use the words "all done" over and over. I want her to understand that when we are done playing with toys, we don't leave them on the floor, but put them away. 


7. Be simple, clear, and precise. Professional public speakers know that effective communication begins with being clear. When teaching new words to a child, the same principle applies. Although a baby may say "bubb..bbb" instead of the word "bubbles," it is important not to use the baby's form of speech to communicate. A baby understands the word spoken correctly, and to encourage it otherwise-no matter how cute it is, is in essence teaching a child that his way is the correct way to say the word. Some babies use baby talk and sounds and cannot be communicated with as a result. Using simple words is also advantageous. Emma does not need to know that the bird hopping on the grass is a robin and the bird on the roof is a crow. At her age, she simply needs to understand that they are both birds. When she can master that concept, we will discuss various kinds of birds.


8. Enunciate. Sometimes little ones don't learn how to say words correctly, because we don't say a word correctly ourselves. When teaching a child a new word, make sure to emphasize the sounds of each word. I try to do this especially in reading books and pointing out objects in the world. I try to emphasis d's and t's instead of letting words slip out of my mouth without them. 

9. Make silly sounds. Emma has learned to use her mouth in many ways simply because Jim and I make silly sounds with our mouth to her. We hiss, blow raspberries, click, and growl when playing with her. We also make faces at her-puff up our cheeks and stick out our tongues. She thinks those sounds and faces are great, and mimics them. Unknowingly she is adding to her language skills.


10. Loving words. This is my personal addition because I know all parents show affection differently to their children. Jim and I are both the cuddly and verbal commutators of love to each other and our children. I tell Emma over and over that "I love her." I want her to know that things are well between me and her. After discipline, it is especially important to restore loving fellowship with a child. I don't want her to avoid me because she thinks I am mad at her or because she is upset. So, even at her young age, I endeavor to keep the lines of communication open-all the time.